


Without You, My Heart is Nothing

by StaleScone



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, First Meeting, M/M, Polyamory, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 22:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6348433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StaleScone/pseuds/StaleScone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Barry manages to ask out Iris before what would become dubbed as 'The Great Particle Accelerator Explosion of 2013' (honestly who names these things?!) leading to a change in the course of the future.</p>
<p>A change so significant that Barry wouldn't have imagined even in his wildest of dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without You, My Heart is Nothing

Another outfit found itself a home on the floor as Barry changed his mind for the umpteenth time. He quickly changed into a pair of casual white shirt that seemed more fitting for a date to a restaurant and then movie after.

He still couldn’t even believe that tonight was actually happening, not after 8 years of silently crushing on Iris behind the scene and he certainly hadn’t imagined that if he ever actually got to go out on a date with her, that there would be a third person in the equation, Eddie.

If you had told him 3 months ago, that he would pacing his room today, panic and excitement bubbling through his stomach as he waited to go out with the woman of his dreams and a man he could grow to love given time. Well, he wouldn’t have believed you.

* * *

 

Nine months ago…

Iris stood beside him, in Star Labs waiting for Harrison Wells to make his appearance, Barry was working up the confidence to finally ask her out while, Iris was inquiring about his recent trip to Starling City.

“Actually, while I was away, I had a chance to think about, you know, relationships…and well, I’m not in one, and you’re not either…and you’re my best friend, Iris” he told her nervously.

“You’re mine too, why else would I be here?” Iris interrupted with a smile.

“That’s not what I meant. What I meant was that well, I like you” he confessed.

“I like you too Barry” she replied obliviously.

“I meant ‘like you’ as in would you go out with me”, “like you know, on a date” he bulldozed on as the smile slowly fell from her face in surprise.

“…ohh…umm” she stuttered still in disbelief, processing what had been revealed to her, wondering whether if this was a joke.

“I mean you don’t have to answer me right now, you can take your time” he rushed out as he saw Harrison Wells taking the podium ready to introduce the Particle Accelerator.

He turned to face the podium as Iris still stood in the same position, her world turned upside down never foreseeing that this would be how her night would go. As she tried to make sense of what she had just heard, a young man shoved into her taking the opportunity to grab her bag.

“Ow, Hey my laptop, it’s got my dissertation” she called out after him. Barry hearing her cry took after the thief and she in turn followed after them.

She reached Barry just as he was hit in the stomach with her bag, reaching out to grab him on the shoulder only to pull her hands back and let them uselessly hang at her side.

“Barry! Are you ok?” she asked worriedly. “Yeah” he said holding on to his stomach, missing what had just transpired.

* * *

 

“Who is that guy, and what is he proud of? So, he caught a mugger, big deal.” Iris asked, rolling her eyes as she walked in. Barry turned to look at the guy who had caught her eye from where he was sitting. The man had spiky blonde hair and a stubble framing his classically handsome face.

“I think that’s the new transfer from Keystone, Eddie Thawne, just started a week or so ago.” Barry replied as Iris took a seat opposite him.

“oh, so that’s Detective Pretty Boy.” She said, as it dawned on her who he must be but then quickly tacked on “that’s what dad calls him” realising what she had said and to whom she had.

“I think we should go to your lab and um, talk about what you said before” said Iris quietly, standing up.

Barry stood up and followed her upstairs nervously, closing the door behind him once they reached the lab. He gave her a small, hesitant smile as she stood near the window pane.

“I don’t know how to say this, Barry you have been my best friend for a very long time now and will always be…but I’ve never looked at you that way” Iris says as Barry swallows hard and backs up a few steps away from her.

“…oh…um…that’s totally okay” he replied with a pained smile as unshed tears filled up his bright blue-green eyes, his hands waving into the air as they visibly shook.

“I’m so sorry Barry” she apologised as she reached out with her hands only to pull them back as he flinched away from her.

As she walks passed him quickly in order to escape the lab, she turns to look back at him and lets a final sorry slip past her mouth as her eyes fill with tears too. A final click reached Barry’s ears in the silent room as the door closed behind her.

As the hour dwindled away, unable to stand in the same place that Iris broke his heart, Barry busied himself with checking on his samples and worked on reducing some of the backlogged cases. He turned on the TV to watch the live coverage of the particle accelerator being turned online with lackluster eyes, not knowing that this would be last thing he would see before his life exploded right in front of his own eyes.

* * *

 

9 Months later…

Barry woke up to a strange world surrounded by no familiar faces, prodding and barking at him. Once he calmed down slightly, they informed him that he’d been hit by lightning putting him out of commission for 9 months and that his muscles had been in a state of cellular regeneration keeping his body from atrophying and giving him abs out of all things. The appearance of Dr. Wells opened another can of worms that Barry didn’t feel quite so ready to wrap his mind around yet but the utterance of Iris coming to visit him frequently jolted his mind.

“Iris?” he asked.

“I need to go” he implored, as his new care takers tried to prevent him from leaving before giving him a clean bill of health. That Iris and Joe had sat at his bedside while he had been declared practically dead. That Iris, his best friend and the love of his life, had to suffer through seeing him in such a state daily was unforgivable. He had to go and see her. Now.

He couldn’t stand by while she believed that he was still in a coma. He couldn’t stand by and continue to let her be sad because of him. He couldn’t stand to be around strangers when his family was still waiting for him to wake up.

He sprinted out of Star Labs straight to Jitters, that’s where she would at this time according to her schedule. Well, that’s what he had assumed, who knows what and how much had changed in 9 months but to him, Iris had only just charged into his labs -only yesterday- like the beautiful whirlwind she was and dropped everything to go with him to star labs, time had after all flown differently for him.

As he walked into Jitters, Barry had never seen a more beautiful sight than Iris in a blue dress with a black apron wrapped around her waist. The moment she saw him, her lips broke out into a ecstatic smile reaching her warm brown eyes. Barry’s heart filled with contentment at the picture of perfection that stood in front of him.

As she ran to him and engulfed him in a tight embrace, Barry had finally felt at peace with himself since he had woken up.

* * *

 

The next time Barry came face to face with Iris, he remembered how their last conversation had ended before the explosion happened and he doesn’t how to act around her. Iris had 9 months to deal with it and he’s been only awake less than 48 hours.

She’s with Detective Thawne, locked in a passionate hug with him as Barry looks on from the outside. She sees him as he’s rooted to the same spot and drags Det. Thawne with her who happily follows her lead. Barry is not ready for this but they’re in front of him before he can even move and Iris is introducing Det. Thawne.

“Barry, do you remember Eddie…Detective Eddie Thawne?” she asks, so earnestly as she’s staring at Eddie with hearts eyes and vice versa. Barry looks down for a second and misses that same look directed at him too.

“Yeah, I do” he replies as he looks back up. He looks at Eddie and flashes him a small smile, “I’m Barry Allen”.

“I know” Eddie says quickly and then tacks on a “Nice to meet you, Iris has told me a lot about you”.

“I hope it’s all good” he replies as his heart shatters into even smaller pieces.

“Of course Bar” Iris interrupts.

Eddie looks at his watch and announces he has to go back to work. He hugs Iris again and gives her a quick and instinctive kiss on the cheeks. Once Iris lets go, he turns to Barry to and sticks his hand out towards Barry.

As Barry’s hand meets Det. Thawne’s, there’s a sudden charge in the air pulling Barry’s lips into an unexpected smile. The seconds wear on as they take more than the usual time allotted for a friendly handshake to pull their hands back. As Barry pulls his hand away first, their fingers briefly graze each other’s.

“Nice to meet you Barry, see you around” Thawne said with a heartfelt smile as he turned to leave.

“So, you and… Det. Thawne? He asked Iris with a playful waggle of the eyebrows as he and Iris turned to leave as well.

“…it’s not what you think…we’re just friends” Iris replied.

“Iris…it’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything to me” Barry would not stand in the way of Iris finding happiness with someone else, he wasn’t that selfish. It had been a long 9 months for Iris and he wouldn’t –no, couldn’t- hold that messy night against her.

“Don’t you like him?” he asked.

“Of course I do” she said.

“I meant like _like_ ”.

“Barry, it’s not really what you think” she repeated.

“Honestly Iris, I know what happened _that_ night was sudden” he gestured messily with his hands. “You don’t have to wait for me to get over you” -“Barry!”- “Seriously Iris, if you really like him, like that then you should ask him out…even I can tell that he’s totally into you” he admitted.

“I watched you die, Barry…you kept dying, your heart kept stopping and the last time I saw you before that, I walked out on you after breaking your heart. I hurt you so badly and I didn’t even know if you would...make it. I never got…to tell you…how sorry I was…and it was killing me” she choked out as her body shook with barely restrained tears.

“Iris, you don’t have to apologise, just because I like you like that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to like me back” he told her in a resigned tone.

“…but I do Barry…I do like you” she confessed.

“I know you like me as a best friend” he replied completely missing the point.

“No Barry, you know what, it’s true what they say, you don’t know what you have until you run the risk of losing it. When you weren’t there with me Barry, I lost a part of me…a part of my heart, it took me a while to realise it but I wanted you in my life as more than a best friend.” Iris said.

“Are you sure…are you sure you’re not just saying this because I was in a coma?” he asked.

“Barry, I think I know my own feelings better than anyone else, I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to make up my mind for me. Deep down, I probably always knew that I liked you but it probably was easier and simpler to see you as family…although, I have never thought you as a brother, it was easier for me to believe that I loved you as a friend, we have been friends since we were babies but I realised that while I may love you as friend, there’s something else there…something more” she said.

“But what about Det. Thawne, I can see that you like him” he said

“I won’t lie to you, I like him too. Barry, he was there for me, when you were in the hospital, Eddie used to cover my dad’s shifts so that we could be with you. I thanked him with a cup of coffee and well we met again after that. As the months dragged on, I found myself spending more and more time with him as he came to visit you with me and he’s just been a very great friend to me, he was there for me when even I couldn’t be there for me. I like him but I like you too” she confessed.

“I won’t make you choose Iris” he said.

“Eddie and I talked about this, about what we hoped would happen when you woke up. Eddie is polyamorous and well he finds you attractive and he told me to let you know that he would like to get to know you and go out with both of us, assuming that you wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with both of us. You don’t have to agree to anything right now” She admitted.

“Oh” he said with surprise. In the past, he had been with both women and men but he had never entertained the thought of being with more than one person at the same time. He could objectively see that Thawne had a very nice profile with a gravelly voice and gorgeous bright blue eyes, even he wasn’t that blind. However, he had been just recently introduced to the other man, he didn’t even know anything about him other than the fact that he had a pretty face and he wasn’t even sure he could share Iris’ love with anyone else much less be able to work out things with another person when Iris herself had just confessed to liking him in a non-friend way. Iris was waiting for his reply nervously.

“I just don’t know Iris, I don’t even know the guy” he said.

“You could get to know him, you know” she countered back.

He settled on an “I’ll think about it” and Iris’ face lit up. He didn’t have a problem with polyamorous but he had never been in a situation where he was the one being invited to one. It’s one thing knowing about it on an intellectual level and another thing considering being in one especially when he would be more in love with one partner than the other, such a thing could destabilise the whole relationship assuming a date between them would even work out in the first place. They could maybe consider Iris going out with both of them while he and Thawne remained friends but he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with being left out. Well, if nothing else, Iris had given him a lot to think about on top of the side effects he gained from the particle accelerator explosion. As the conversation fell into a lull, their brief respite was interrupted by a cacophony of noises including screeching tires, siren wails and glass shattering as a cloud of thick fog enveloped the air.

* * *

 

A week passed as Barry threw himself back into work despite everyone telling him to take a rest but Barry could not remain cooped up at home or star labs either, it was winding him up and he had too much energy to sit at home so he tried to take it slow by checking out the state his lab was left in by the intern that had filled his position and sorting it out back to how liked it, while he tried to push out the truth bomb Iris dropped on him out of his mind, which was easier said than done when he after all  saw Iris frequently at Joe’s house and he worked in the same place as Detective Thawne.

As Barry checked on test tubes, he heard a knocking sound on his door and he yelled out for the person to come in.

“Hi Barry” Thawne called out holding two paper bags.

“You’ve been cooped up in this place since you’ve come in, I brought you some late lunch” he said as he dropped one of the bags on the table.

“Erm thanks, make yourself comfortable” Barry replied, slightly bewildered but who would say no to free food especially someone with his current appetite.

“How did you know this was my favourite?” he wondered as he looked inside the bag. He looked up to see the other man’s face slightly flush in pink.

“I might have asked Iris for help” he replied bashfully.

At first they ate in silence but as the silence stretched on and it slowly became stuffy in the room. They eased into a more comfortable conversation, slowly getting to know each other and this was how Barry came to know that Thawne –no, Eddie- knew him better than he thought. Apparently, Iris had talked about him a lot when Eddie came to visit him at star labs, she even told him about Barry’s blog because he’d been so passionate about it and Iris had wanted to share this with the one person apart from her father who’d been there for her more than anyone else. Iris had closed herself off from her old friends and well, they had gotten tired of asking her to come out after she kept making excuses and as months passed, they had moved on as real life swept them up. Eddie also might have sneaked a peak at Barry’s social media accounts after Iris wouldn’t stop talking about him.

As Eddie prepared to leave as his lunch break was coming to an end, he only had one last question “Same place, same time tomorrow, assuming there are no urgent cases that pop up?”

“Yeah, that’s okay” Barry nodded with a small smile.

Whenever possible, they met for lunch, sometimes in Barry’s Lab and sometimes in Jitters for a change of environment. There’s only so much time Barry could bear to spend in his own Lab and so on those days they would go out. On some days, Iris would join them when she didn’t have work but those days were rare however it left Barry feeling complete. When Iris wasn’t there, it was still enjoyable however, in the back of Barry’s mind, it always felt lacking and incomplete.

On the second day, he and Eddie exchanged numbers and they made a group chat on WhatsApp so as to include Iris. As the days turned into weeks, Barry found himself looking forward to meeting Eddie for lunch and came to treasure those few precious hours they had together. He came to find out that Eddie supported The Yankees, and while Barry was only a casual viewer of sports, Joe had passed down his love for The Mets down to both him and Iris. He also found out that when it came to movies, Eddie didn’t have any preferences as long as it told a good story whereas Barry enjoyed Sci-Fi movies and science documentaries which led to an excited one sided long winded discussion about the last documentary he had watched and it only ended once Barry realised that Eddie had been silent for far too long and had finally looked at the other man to see his eyes had glazed over.

“I’m boring you” he stuttered out at last.

“No!” Eddie denied as he jolted back into the present.

“Really?” Barry asked with his ‘I can tell you’re lying’ face scrunch.

“No but you just look super adorable when you start to ramble about something you’re passionate about, Iris was right about that” he answered with a shrug.

Barry’s face heated up with the compliment, “so you guys talk about me when I’m not there”.

“Yeah…don’t you and Iris do the same?” he countered with a playful smile as he held gazes with the other man, one of his hands reaching out to lightly encircle Barry’s closed fist that was laid on the table. Barry’s heartbeat picked up at the touch and a hesitant smile spread across his face.

“…maybe” Barry responded as Eddie glanced at his watch.

“shit Bar, I got to go back down. Talk to you later yeah” he rushed out as he stood to leave and gently stroked Barry’s hand before let go.

* * *

 

As Barry laid in the warmth of his bed after a night spent chasing criminals around, his phone started to vibrate under his pillow.

**Iris:** Hw r u doin guys?

**Eddie T:** dead tired and in pain

**Iris:** aww, is that u asking for a massage ;-)….I’m sure Bar could help u w/ that

**Barry:** There’s no way I’m getting out bed for anything short of an alien invasion.

**Eddie:** thanks barry, it’s always nice to hear that u got my back.

**Barry:** Sorry, you’re just not half as sexy as my bed

**Iris** : Aha, so u think hes sexy =)

**Barry:** I didn’t say that

**Iris:** SURE :D :D

**Iris:** Ed…Eddie??? U dead?? I think you killed him Barry ;-)

**Eddie:** seriously iris…I leave for like 30 secs….how are you anyways

**Iris:** F9…Jst recently wrote abt the blur doing his ‘blur’ thing

**Eddie:** he doesn’t exist

**Barry:** Guys, please don’t start this again.

….

* * *

 

The next time they had lunch was at Jitters and Iris timed her break to match theirs, they picked some light food and drinks and went outside to sit on a nearby bench. Iris ran to hog the middle spot. They filled up the silence with mindless chatter as they ate and Barry couldn’t be any happier surrounded by these two people.

“Iris, you asked me something about a month ago and I think, I finally feel like I have thought about it enough…you’ve both been here for me since I’ve woken up from coma. Iris, you’ve always been here for me since I can remember and Eddie, you’ve honestly been one of greatest friends I could have asked for last month. So, I was wondering if you were still interested in, you know, going out with me?” Barry asked nervously once they had finished eating and sat closer to each other seeking the warmth of another body.

Eddie and Iris simply stared at each other in surprise until Iris broke it with a screech that resembled a yes, as she turned to Barry and pulled him in for a hug. She repeated more softly this time with another yes.

“Eddie?” he questioned.

“I thought you weren’t poly?” he asked Barry.

“Honestly, I’m not sure if I am but you both make me happy and I just want to give it a try…to see where it goes” Barry explained.

“Then yes. I do want to go out with both of you” Eddie said with a radiant smile that crinkled his eyes together as he pulled Iris and Barry into a tight hug.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I know my title is sappy but I can't do titles. 
> 
> ***I know, Iris and Eddie seem pushy but they had a more than half a year to get used to this and fail to realise how much time, in comparison, has passed differently for Barry.  
> Assuming people actually like this and want more...I might expand on it and make it a multi-chapter for a more in depth view of their relationship and how it goes from here.


End file.
